Meet the GS Staff

Teddy L., Editor-In-Chief 

Nicknamed “the Rekindler,” Teddy possesses an uncanny ability to creatively flip failing blogs into successful, propaganda-filled lightning rods.

After being cast by his teacher as the African American character Franklin in an all Caucasian rendition of his 1^st grade class’ A Charlie Brown’s Christmas, a decision he feels was based primarily on his darkly shaded Sicilian skin, Teddy received his first life lesson in race relations. After uttering “gee,” not only his only line in the play, but his only word, a legacy of publically documenting the cultural misgivings of the world was born.

In late 1997 he gleefully re-aggravated the unhealed wounds of community newspaper readers after submitting an ad depicting Princess Diana’s body molded into the shape of a vodka bottle with a tag line of “Absolute Dead.”

In his spare time, Teddy enjoys visiting Home Depot to huff the home improvement giant’s unique store smell.

Christian W., Ethics Advisor

A tenured member of Grooved Shoulder’s Ethics Advisory Board, Christian’s dedication to our craft has forever entrenched himself within the escribitionist community.

A pioneer in the art of method blogging, his 1988 Ketamine-fueled diary portrayal of a lonely Michael Dukakis set benchmark’s in a pre HTTP world. His achievements include an unwilling acceptance of the “Top Repenting Adult” prize in both 1995 and 1998’s Protestant Coffee Club of Medford’s Community Yearbook.

Christian’s personal interests include but are not limited to making important decisions while under the influence of screw top varietals.

Emily M., Fetus in Fetu/Parasitic Head News Advisor

Who says a bloodless coup d’etat can’t be fun?! By prying Emily from our competition Grooved Shoulder proudly steps to the forefront as America’s finest and most graphic source for Fetus in Fetu/Parasitic Twin journalism.  Emily has covered the most fascinating stories fetus in fetu goodness can offer, most notably the infamous “creature” living inside India’s Sanju Bhagat.

Her personal interests include consuming pistachio milkshakes as well as convincing others of the possibility that the lump on their stomach is not a zit but instead the hair, teeth and claws of their gruesome, gnome-like twin.

Keita M., Financial Coordinator

Born and raised in the sordid rue Sainte Catherine underworld by a family of wild coon cats, Keita was first discovered by shocked ASPCA volunteers performing routine alley sweeps of feline dens. His story graced the front page of the the Gazette, captivating minds of fellow Montrealians yearning for details of the young “cat boy” who walked on all fours, feasted on garbage, scored unusually high in mathematical aptitude testing and oddly enough, possessed one hell of a golf swing.

In 1993 Keita enrolled as a Finance major at the University of Fairfield, whose reputation for accepting feral students was overshadowed only by its up and coming chess program. Grooved Shoulder, America’s first accredited blog to accept a feral employee, is proud to welcome Keita, whose interest in budget balancing and the occasional Bonker make him an ideal addition to our organization.   

Kara T., Interior Design/Fashion Advisor

Think Martha Stewart without the guerilla merchandising, over-pronunciations, those Friesian horses and oh yeah, a five month prison term that no doubt will spook potential employers. So yes, we took a chance on Kara, who on any day may magically turn shit into the soft-serviest of ice cream.

Channeling her inner Chewy, Kara’s personal interests include furthering the creation of her unique Wookiee language structure. She hopes to begin fully conversing by mid 2012 to coincide with her Lush Forest Worlds of Kashyyyk backyard exhibit.   

                                                                                                                                                      Dan H., Cosmic Ordering Expert

Adopted and home-schooled by renegade Mennonite cage fighters, Dan first caught Grooved Shoulder’s attention in 1992 after promising us the ”path to happiness” in exchange for two Xenadrine tablets. 

Over the next fifteen years, and several DUI manslaughter charges later (which ultimately deemed his talent a failure), something about Dan’s aura left us wondering if we, not him, were to blame for such misfortune. So after his extended and rather unpleasant stay at MCI-Concord, we revisited Dan’s services in hopes of reconnecting with the universe.

Over time, thru his intricate teachings, we became fluent in the theory of “like attracts like,” controlling our reality like never before, that is, until suffering a relapse for befriending a serial rapist. Since then, however, Dan has solidified his place as Grooved Shoulder’s defacto “guru”.