Zombie Delegate Bites Obama!

AUSTIN, TX – Barrack Obama’s future as a viable presidential candidate is in jeopardy tonight following a blatant Zombie attack that has many weary he may be infected with Zombie antibodies and turn “undead” within days.

While greeting supporters Monday in Austin, Obama was gruesomely bitten on the neck by an African American Zombie posing as a delegate from Texas, effectively bringing his campaign to a screeching halt.

Meat(Balls) Deep

 

MEDFORD, MA – Bedraggled addicts fresh off a night of butt hash were treated to an impromptu press conference outside the local Diary Mart this morning as Grooved Shoulder officially announced it’s latest jihad.

Not against western culture (we’ve already done that) but rather presidential candidates, past and present, who utilize oversized sandwiches to convey a phony message of commonality between themselves and voters.