AWOL Garnett Captured in China

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boston Celtics forward Kevin Garnett, on the run from NBA investigators for weeks since being suspended for “sadness detrimental to the team,” was finally captured Tuesday in China.

Garnett’s inability to embrace winning, as first reported by Grooved Shoulder, sent the all-star into a tailspin, triggering him to flee the country. 

NBA Abruptly Cancels “Little People” Game

NEW ORLEANS, LA – Long considered a fixture of All-Star Weekend festivities, the National Basketball Association has discontinued its annual “Little People” Hoop Scrimmage, Commissioner David Stern announced on Friday.

Faced with increased pressure from ACLU protesters, Stern expressed regret in cancelling the event from it’s Saturday night program.

Garnett Suspended For Sadness?

BOSTON, MA – Publically team officials have called it a abdominal injury, but according to Grooved Shoulder sources, Kevin Garnett’s departure from the Celtics lineup has less to do with the all-star forward’s physical woes but rather an awkward case of hurt feelings.

A fellow Celtic who chose not be named claims that Garnett, long accustomed to losing as part of a mediocre, underachieving Minnesota Timberwolves franchise, oft times feels sad for opponents, crying when the Celtics win by large margins.